by Julia Austin
It’s true, people do trial separations—even married people. But for the purpose of this article, I’m going to assume that you are not married. After a break up, the idea of never seeing someone again can be so shocking that some people refuse to face it. What is the easiest way to smooth out the bumpy, shocking road of a break up? Call it a “break” instead. But warning, those bumps you just smoothed out have only piled up a little further down the road. Here are three things to assess if you and your guy are considering a break versus a break up.
1. Take a Break or Break Up? – He Is Too Emotionally Damaged
The rebound after a break up. We’ve all had one. We’ve all been one. You may be totally head over heels for a guy, but if his past relationship is haunting your present one, that is unfair to you. Dating is never easy but we all have to do it. Unfortunately, people can be unrealistic about the time it takes to heal. Your guy may suggest a break instead of a break up in order to clear his head (of his ex) and become a whole person again. Here is the thing—he won’t actually be able to do that if lingering in the back of his mind is his responsibility to you. He knows you’re waiting for him to heal. He knows he has someone in his life, just at arm’s length. He can’t really become a whole person again—the way he once was as a single guy—unless he is a single guy.
If your guy is still licking his wounds from his past break up, let him go. Maybe in the future you’ll find each other again. But he needs to shake the pain from his last break up in order to become the guy who can give you what you deserve.