by Aaron F. Steinberg, Romance Male Mirror

blue valentine

Sometimes we see divorced couples and we have no idea how they were ever married. Occasionally we see couples that had very rocky periods in the beginning of their relationship but did not suffer a break up are now happier than ever. Why does this happen?

One of the only constants we can always count on in life is that things change, including people. We all go through many phases over the course of a lifetime and usually end up doing a fair amount of the things we once declared that we would never do. Sometimes we find ourselves in a relationship that works during a certain phase of our life, but becomes dysfunctional and we end up breaking up after we’ve moved out of that phase and our priorities have shifted.

A good example of this is a relationship between a college student and an older partner. The two are in very different places in their lives. The older partner is probably somewhat more stabilized and his or her values and priorities may remain more constant than the college student’s. College years are known to be a time for self-discovery and growth. So the values and priorities of the person in college are more or less guaranteed to change, and the interest and attraction this person had for his or her older partner will inevitably shift as well.

There are other more subtle value shifts that happen all the time with other couples, even the happiest ones.