Suzanne, 27, San Francisco

sad woman holding phone break ups breaking up

I live in San Francisco and my boyfriend lives in Chicago. We met through my networking conference in New York last year and hit it off right away. We found out that we were staying in hotels right next to each other and squeezed in as much quality time together as we could during the 3 days we had left at the conference. I fell for him instantly and felt like I had met my soul mate. I was so excited to have met him, we had so much in common, similar families, backgrounds, interests and even weird habits.

After the conference we both went back to our separate cities. We talked endlessly on the phone for the next coming weeks and he ended up buying me a ticket to Chicago to spend the weekend with him. I had such an amazing time with him. Our chemistry and dynamics were unmatched to anything I’d experienced before. We talked about seeing each other again in a few weeks, this time he promised to visit me in San Fran. We didn’t discuss whether or not to label our relationship or how we were going to ever make long distance relationship work down the road, but at that point I didn’t think it was an issue that needed to be discussed.

Over the next few months we continued to visit each other every few weeks and exchanged daily texts and phone calls. But I was starting to wonder whether or not he had any plans of us “not” being in a long distance relationship. A few weeks ago, I asked him about the possible future and if he would be willing to move, or if it is something I should start thinking about. He hesitated and switched subjects. He has been acting weird ever since. A few days later, I told him I really need to understand the future potential of this relationship and he has been very brief on the phone ever since.

I am starting to be paranoid about why he is acting this way. My best friend told me it’s possible that he might have another girlfriend in Chicago. This could be true since we only see each other once a month or so for only a weekend at a time and talk on the phone during work hours mostly. I don’t want to call him with jealous accusations, but now I’m starting to feel very upset about the whole situation, especially because he has been avoiding me. All my friends warned me about getting into a long distance relationship, and now I feel like they may have been right. The worse part is, even if we did make plans to see each other again, now I’m wondering what he’s doing when I’m not around?


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