Natalie, 29, New York

girl dancing at party


Peter had been away for a week for work and finally we got together on Friday and grabbed a drink at a bar near my house. It was great to catch up and I really like this guy even though we’ve only been on a couple of dates. After a few drinks, some good flirtation, and a few hot kisses, I was starting to feel pretty good about our evening.

Around then, I got a text message from one of my girl friends, who happened to be in the neighborhood, and invited her to join us for a drink. I was excited for her to meet Peter. She showed up and we all started chatting, except she was giggling incessantly and touching Peter a lot on the shoulder and telling both of us how awesome she thinks he is. Apparently it turned out she was excited to meet him as well—a little too excited. She was openly flirting with him and he was playing along and giving her a lot of attention. Before she got there, he told me that he didn’t want her to feel like the third wheel, but since when does that mean it’s okay to flirt with my friend?

I am not a jealous person, but I was starting to feel uncomfortable. Pretty soon it felt like I became less of his “date,” and more of an observer of their interaction. It gets better. She starts dancing on the couch in this bar and he starts snapping pictures of her on his iphone while I’m just standing there. Next thing you know, he is showing her the pictures he just took and they are laughing and giggling over them. She shortly starts dancing and posing again for a second photo session.

At this point I am really irritated and go to the restroom. I come back, and they are now both dancing on the couch together. I consider whether I’m being “Punked” or something (unfortunately, no). At this point I tell both of them that I am ready to go home as I have an early day the next morning. After almost hesitating to stay at the club together, they end up leaving with me. He helps her with her coat (doesn’t help me with mine) and comments on how nice it looks on her. She smiles, giggles, waves her little arms around in joy, flips her hair, and moves her upper body back and forth like she was doing a Bikram yoga spinal strengthening exercise. After we leave they drop me off at my place and he offers to give her a ride back to her place, as they both live on the same side of town. Really? WTF was this whole night all about? I stopped talking to both of them.

There is a thin line between being friendly to your friend’s boyfriend and trying too hard to get attention. If you are in your late 20’s, you should know what appropriate behavior is.


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