Kayla, 26, Coral Gables, FL
Tony and I broke up about a year ago, but he is still around all the time. He is a nice guy overall, but was not the best boyfriend – too immature, self absorbed, and cared too much about watching the game with his boys than spending time with me. After I broke up with him, we remained friends, and he still came around the house once in a while. Our parents are friends and my folks really like Tony and think we are going to be together one day. I really don’t have feelings outside of friendship towards him.
About a month ago, I started dating a new boyfriend. Things were going really well from the beginning and I am really starting to fall for him. However, as soon as Tony found out I am dating someone new, he started coming around with flowers, love notes, asking to take me to nice dinners, everything he did not spend too much effort on when we were dating. He also started playing tennis with my dad, which is really frustrating, because he is totally winning my parents over. He texts me every day and calls all the time.
My new boyfriend, Mike is not comfortable with this relationship. The two of them have not met, and I would like to keep it so. Tony is getting more and more intense with his efforts of getting back together, no matter how much I tell him to back off. He keeps saying that he is a changed man and that I am ignoring all the obvious signs of true love. He claims that if I had feelings for him once, things will be so much better this time around. At this point, I am getting worried that this is not going in a good direction. Mike is getting more upset about all the text messages I receive from Tony and the weekly flowers on my porch. I care about Tony, but I really need him to step away from my life and he is not listening. I really don’t know how to get out of a relationship with my ex. Please help.