by Daylle Deanna Schwartz

confused woman
Do you hesitate to make decisions? It’s a common problem. Concern about the results of making a choice can make even the best of us hesitate to commit to something. Yet in order to reach the SUCCESS we are looking for, it’s important to learn to trust ourselves to be decisive about the decisions we make.

Everyone has some insecurity, and it can rear its head when decisions need to be made. Are you scared of making poor choices? You may worry about disappointing or inconveniencing someone. So you hesitate and hesitate, as it pounds your confidence to know you just can’t be definitive about making a choice. Waffling puts you on shaky ground. Stammering loses respect, from yourself too.

It can get frustrating when you know you should make a decision but you don’t trust yourself to do it, though you know you should be able to.

Sometimes old habits block our ability to make a decision. Were you reprimanded for mistakes growing up? Or criticized for making poor choices by a romantic partner? That can make you gun shy about pulling the decision-making trigger. We get conditioned to expect certain responses. If you got used to expecting to be put down for your choices, you may subconsciously still expect to get nailed for them, even if the circumstances are very different.

It’s important to remind yourself how much you’ve grown and improved. When I was a DoorMat I’d wince inside when I was forced to make a decision. I waited to be chastised for not choosing correctly. It didn’t happen often but when it did, it was painful.

Wanting to please can make even one “wrong” decision feel catastrophic.

Do you play mental ping-pong between what others may want you to choose and what you really want? That was often my case. “Where do you want to go for dinner?” A simple question that made me think about what I’d like to eat, then what would the other person like to eat, then what would the other person like me to choose, then I’d teeter over the answer and ask the other person to choose. It can be a personal decision or in business. If you’re concerned with what the other person would want you to choose, it’s hard to make a real decision.

 

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